nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
