how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
