so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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