He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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