My cat gives me a boner
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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