Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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