East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
