I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Randomize
