u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
pray to the hookup gods
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
