i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize