i just had sex bonerless
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
