The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
