come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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