Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
