dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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