I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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