friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
