How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
