Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
whose parrot is this?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
