so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
