Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
