Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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