everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
