My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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