office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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