I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My breasts were aching with rage.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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