dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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