I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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