I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I want you more than these girls want KFC
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
