Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
