I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You smell like stripper and shame
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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