Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
try to milk me bitch
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