All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
