so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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