You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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