Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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