Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
