omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
