Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
