Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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