I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
