jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
