I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
