im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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