she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
