just come out here and I will go home with you...
now i know why i became what i already was.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
