I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
