i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
