Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
