So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
