that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
