none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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