He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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