It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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