Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
