Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
