I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
