Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
