I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
