it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
